should i take a break from my relationship

Taking a break, though, can be an opportunity to consider those feelings and find the necessary tools to express them to your parents (and yourself) in a healthy way.įor Laurel, a 28-year-old social-media manager from Los Angeles, moving across the country from her parents seven years ago wasn’t enough to curb the anger and bitterness she felt toward them after years of boundary- and communication-related issues. “It’s easy to avoid the uncomfortable emotions that come up when you’re around family, and it’s not always helpful,” says Nicole Goudreau-Green, a therapist and clinical social worker with Willow Bend Counseling in Pleasantville, New York. But if you’re not happy with the current state of your relationship and want the situation to improve, it could be worth the fear. “Taking a break can provide perspective,” she explains, “to decide what it is that’s bothering you exactly in your relationship with your parents, ask yourself why that’s bothering you, and decide what you need from them.”įor people used to talking to their parents constantly or not addressing troubles, the idea of taking time apart from their parents - and telling them about it - might seem scary. Whether your decision stems from a particular event, such as a huge blowout, or a pattern of troubling behavior like emotional abuse or alcoholism, giving yourself a chance to decipher your emotions and reflect on the situation without feeling the pressure to communicate with your parents can be extremely helpful, Simonian says. When they’ve hurt or neglected you, taking a break from your parents “is very normal and very healthy,” says Emily Simonian, a Washington, D.C.-based marriage and family therapist with Thriveworks.

By the time she felt ready to resume their relationship, both parties would, hopefully, have perspective and be ready to carve out a path forward. As she worked with a therapist to process her feelings, her parents could use her absence to think about the effects of their actions. Taking time apart, Paula thought, would be good for them. “I felt like they were gaslighting me with the separation and wanted me to act like parents to them,” she says, “but were incapable of being parents to me through these challenging moments that are supposed to bring families closer together.”

It became enough of an emotional burden that Paula decided to take a break from her parents. In the fall of 2021, Paula's father had an affair and moved out, causing both parents to rely heavily on her for advice while ignoring the fact that, at that same time, she was struggling on her own from the dual stresses of planning her wedding and navigating health complications. Is It Possible to Get a Relationship Do-Over?

Should i take a break from my relationship